I learned a long time ago that my sense of humor was better suited to college-aged athletes, some of it a little "blue", even though most of my swear words were couched in acronyms.
The style I often used was on the wrong side of political correctness, more than likely inappropriate for teenagers - even though I never used words they probably hadn't heard a million times.
But, I always refrained because I felt it reflected poorly on a leader. Someone who relied on brawn more than brains - like the Stanley Kowalski character in "A Streetcar Named Desire." I wanted to be a coach who could hold an erudite discussion on the concise writing style of Ernest Hemmingway or the evolution of Frank Lloyd Wright's Prairie School architecture - not the language of a caveman.
So I came up with coaching acronyms.
You know, like the abbreviations BASIC or ASCII used in computer science or terms in the military such as MRE, IED, and FUBAR; each a simpler way to get the idea across without being verbose or loquacious.
There are track acronyms that every coach sees daily - FS, DNS, DNF, DQ, NH, NM; but all of these are so bland. Carry no punch. I had my own acronyms that did, ones I used quite often to get the point across.
"Coach, can we eat at McDonalds?" - "NFW."
"Coach, what do you think of John Paxson as the Bulls general manager?" - "SFB."
"Coach, how did Thomas do today?" - "SOR."
"Coach, did you see Billy no-heighted?" - "WTF?"
And then there was my personal favorite. One I savored, always keeping it for those special moments, using it with a big grin on my face.
"Coach, how did that obnoxious runner from Western do?" - "DFL!"